Shadows
by KousukeAsazuki
Summary: Ayumu's thoughts about being compared to his brother and living in his shadow. Oneshot, R&R.


I got inspired to write this after reading "The Leading Life of Ordinary" by Maiden of Night. So thanks for that. Anyway, enjoy!

A/N: This will be from Ayumu's point of view. This is only my second attempt at a first person thing, and I'm not sure the last one turned out so well, so hopefully this one will go better.

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I am currently 21 and a detective, living in the city of Osaka, Japan. I have an older brother, Kiyotaka Narumi, whom I have not seen in many years, and a sister-in-law, Madoka Narumi, who left several years ago, abandoning her job in her hunt for her missing husband, my brother. I was supposed to be the Blade Children's savior, their hope, their salvation. The Blade Children, a race of people created by society's 'devil', Yaiba Mizushiro. Created to go insane on their twentieth birthday, to become senseless killers, to elimate the 'lesser' beings. In all honesty, I'm not truly human. No, simply a clone, a shadow of my older brother. Much in the way that Hizumi Mizushiro is the clone of his older 'brother'. As Yaiba and Hizumi were known as the devils, Kiyotaka and myself, well...we were the saviors of society. Of course, Yaiba is now long dead, at the hands of none other than Kiyotaka, as is Hizumi, though by other means. Suicide, plain and simple. Not before revealing some information to me, about my nature; my fate. I am Ayumu Narumi, and this is my story.

_**It all started with a phone call...**_

_"I'm going to pursue the mystery of the Blade Children."_

_**From my older brother...**_

"Until I can touch with my hands the unseen truth,"

_**Who disappeared...**_

_"I will not return."_

_**Without a trace.**_

Two years later, the mystery began again. It had been haunting me, like a shadow, ever since I recieved that onimous phone call. Of course, when hadn't Kiyotaka been haunting me? He was, for lack of a better word, perfect. As close as anyone, human or other, had ever come to the definition. I was, or rather still am, a reflection of him. Eyes Rutherford said it best, said what had always been said. Or, if not spoken, at least thought by everyone; believed by everyone.

_"You are merely an imitation of one of the greatest talents to ever live."_

Those words still haunt me to this day. Probably because, to this day, they remain true.

_"You will forever be a loser."_

I was always mocked, compared, belittled. Even in saving the Blade Children, even after giving them hope and a new life, they still compared me to my brother. Even when I did what he couldn't do, they thought more highly of him. They just said that he wouldn't do it, not that he couldn't; Kiyotaka could do anything.

After things started up again, I was constantly tested by the Blade Children. The first challenge, at Eyes Rutherford's piano recital. It was before I knew who or really what the Blade Children were. There, once again, I was mocked by both Eyes and that damn turtle. It was also the first time I had heard that nickname in so long.

_"Little Narumi..."_

It was how I was known to the Blade Children; how they identified me. I was rarely called Ayumu by them, only on special occasions, when they had hope in me. Only then, when I showed potential to succeed my brother, did they see me as my own person; something more than Kiyotaka's little brother. The next to challenge me was Kousuke Asazuki. He was the first to admit his fate as a Blade Child to me.

_"My name...is Kousuke Asazuki. And, yes, I am one of the Blade Children."_

_**He was the worst...**_

_"Anaphylaxis..."_

_**He showed my weaknesses so easily...**_

_"Your brother happened to mention it to me in conversation once. Which makes me think, what kind of guy tells someone how to kill his own brother? Eh, Little Narumi?"_

_**And once again compared me to my brother...**_

_"Here's something you might find interesting. Kiyotaka asked only one question before guessing. The real question is, can you do the same?"_

_**Just like everyone else.**_

Rio was next, though she tested me not because she believed I couldn't live up to the rumors surrounding my ablilities. No, in fact she tested me for just the opposite reason. She tested me _because _she believed in me. Perhaps it was to prove to me that I really had what it took. She was the only one that never wavered in her faith in me. Maybe she was just naive, or maybe she really did have such strong faith in me. Then again, she always had strong faith in my brother's words, too, about the happiness of those who believe. So perhaps she just had faith in me because she had so much faith in him. Without him, maybe she wouldn't even give me a second glance. Ryoko was next, though she never challenged me. No reason to, really, she tried to deny her fate as a Blade Child, tried to run from that life; that destiny. Eventually, it caught up to her, however, and she was tossed into the spiral with the rest. Going around and around in circles until her abrupt and untimely end. Though she hadn't reached it yet, none of them had, and I prayed they wouldn't. As much as they mocked me, taunted me, they were close now; too close. This is why I never let anyone get this close, it would just prove to be a problem in the end. Problems and pain, that's all you ever got in return for getting too close.

Kanone Hilbert. The last of the Blade Children to make himself known, the last to test me. No, that was no test, he truly tried his hardest to eliminate me; the hope I brought; the light I threatened to shine, piercing through the darkness that clouded their fate. He never showed an ounce of faith in me, he had no reason to, of course. He never believed in my brother, so why should he believe in me? But he was different for so many reasons, in so many ways.

_"Your flimsy lie about kneeling down before me is pathetic."_

_**He saw right through me...**_

_"So you can drop the act, Ayumu."_

_**He didn't refer to me as the others did...**_

_"'It's very small, but deep inside me, there's still hesitation about whether it's really okay to lose you.' Is that what you want me to say?"_

_**Because he didn't pretend to believe in me...**_

_"Unfortunately, that's just not the case, Ayumu."_

_**At all.**_

Kanone did more than belittle me not only as Kiyotaka's little brother, but as a person in general. He was the first one I ever admitted that I actually believed in myself to, the only one to ever hear that I wouldn't give up in myself, that I would stand up and fight through to the end. Whether he realized it or not, Kanone gave me the ability to believe in myself more than all the others put together. And for the first time, ever, someone proved that I was superior to my brother. Kanone Hilbert never believed in Kiyotaka's words, never believed in Kiyotaka.

_"I think I'm finally starting to understand Kiyotaka's words about the happiness of those who believe."_

_**Until I defeated him.**_

Do I still remain in Kiyotaka's shadow? Or have I surpassed him? Is this all my fate was, do I have purpose anymore? Kiyotaka would make a new purpose for himself, the overachiever he was, one fate wouldn't be good enough for him. Can I make a new purpose for myself? Can I truly surpass my brother? After all, I'm just his clone; his shadow. Kiyotaka could do it.

_"The real question is, can you do the same?"_

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And, in staying true to the anime, I shall leave all questions unanswered! (still peeved about that) Anyway, hope you liked it. Review!


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